My Story

I grew up in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont, surrounded by rolling hills covered in an array of pine and maple trees. In the spring the air would smell of fresh mud and boiling maple sap. Summers were always short, but you could still find people splashing in pools or local lakes and enjoying a maple creemie. The autumn boasted hues of red, orange, yellow and brown as the maple tree covered hills ushered in signs of the ending year. And winter, though it lasted longer than most desired, always ushered in breathtaking views of freshly snow dusted trees and glistening fields of white.

Now, I live in Katy, Texas a full time teacher in a local elementary school, where I teach 3rd graders how to understand what they are reading, how to write with a little more detail, and how they can make a difference. And most of all, I just get to love them. How did I get here? The short answer: Jesus.

The Best Part of My Story…

At the age of 4 my parents started attending church. It was just before my Kindergarten year that I remember knowing that I was a sinner and Jesus came to save me. So I started my relationship with Him at the age of 5. From then on I attended church regularly and was active in various parts growing up. I also attended a Christian school where I had the privilege of learning about God every day.

The Hard Part Of My Story…

My childhood wasn’t perfect though. At a young age, my life was marred by betrayal of someone I grew up trusting. And while their actions didn’t really impact my behaviors as a child, once I became a teenager, I struggled. As a kid, perfection was my goal: attendance, grades, performance. Anything less than the best wasn’t satisfactory. When I started to come to grips with what had happened to me as a child, I looked around and saw that I didn’t really have any close friends to confide in, leaving me depressed and willing to accept any kind of affirmation that I could find.

As I entered high school, I realized that my pursuit of perfection wasn’t a substitute for pursuing Jesus. I knew a lot about Him and I was saved, but I wasn’t really talking to Him or choosing to spend time with Him over all those years. So when a group of friends came along in middle and high school that were willing to accept me and give me attention, I allowed myself to exchange what I knew as truth to fit in with them. I fell in love with what they had to offer, and opened the door to some pretty poor choices.

Where did that leave me? My relationships didn’t honor God. Trust was broken with those who loved me. But even though I knew my life was crumbling, I didn’t want others to find out, so on Sundays, I pulled myself together, had my quiet time journal filled out, my verses memorized, and I would serve on our praise team. Living my double life deepened my depression because I wasn’t willing to be honest and I wasn’t willing to depend on Jesus. I was ready to give up on life because I had no more purpose and I was tired of doing what I was doing.

The Beginning Of My Redemption…

As I sat one day contemplating how I was going to end my life, God spoke to me. It wasn’t an audible voice, but it was clear words spoken into my soul. He had a purpose still yet unfilled for my life. In that moment, I also realized that He hadn’t left me. Even though I had been so uninterested in pursuing Him, He never left my side and in that moment, He still wanted me, even though I was broken.

Truthfully, I was still reluctant. I knew I wasn’t going to die that day, but I also knew moving forward I didn’t want to change my life. Perhaps because that meant being honest with people about my double life and knowing it would be met with shocked disapproval by people who thought I had it all together. Also, it was because the life I had been living, though wrong, had offered me things I wanted: relationship, acceptance, love…that I thought I wouldn’t find again with the truth out there.

Fast forward a few weeks later. A ministry group was at my church for 11 days. It was during that time that God confronted me. He allowed me to put the pieces together that my actions were sin, but that I had a choice to pursue right things. It was that week He gave me the courage to walk away from the life I had been living, the courage to share with a few trusted people what had been going on in my life, and the courage to get help. It was that week that He showed me that being a Christian is more than just being saved and going to heaven. It’s about a relationship, an active pursuit of knowing Jesus and living in a way that honors Him and points others to His amazing love!

After those 11 days, I was on a new journey. I finished out my high school career with a new focus on Christ, able to leave a better legacy, and having been able to share my story with most of my peers. It was during my senior year that God gave me the desire to be in full time ministry. I didn’t know what that would look like, but He’s delivered on that desire in an incredible way.

A Decade Of Ministry…

From then on, I wanted to see kids and youth live authentic lives for Christ as kids and youth. I realized that they don’t have to wait until adulthood to make a difference and be serious about Jesus. I realized that He wants to use them to impact His kingdom now!

I first realized this on a mission trip to Papua New Guinea, when I was confronted with statistics of declining missionary rates, tied back to fewer youth wanting to serve God with their lives. I left wondering if the church in America was adequately discipling our kids and youth to want to be servants for Christ.

Then in 2013, God opened up the door for me to join the very ministry that He used to change my life. I spent 5 years traveling around the country, working with kids, and teaching them how to live authentically for Christ. It was during that time that God opened the door for me to join in with that ministry on a full time basis by serving at their family camp in Michigan.

I spent just over 2 years there developing fresh children’s ministry content for their summer camp and helping to bring fresh vision to their parent/child retreats. Meanwhile, I embraced Midwestern culture and formed some truly beautiful friendships.

As much as I loved camp ministry, my heart longed to be in the local church. There I knew I could really focus on ongoing discipleship of kids. Then it happened! God opened the door at a church in Texas, to do a job I absolutely loved! Being with the same kids week after week, building relationships with them, their parents, and the volunteers was such a sweet sweet gift. But about a year in, God started to stir something else inside.

From Ms. Olivia to Ms. Shields…

In the church world, I was known as Ms. Olivia. But as I wrapped up my first year serving in the local church, God brought to the surface another passion that had been dormant due to some other circumstances. When I lived in Michigan I had started looking into the process of becoming a substitute teacher. I mostly wanted to be involved with my community, see what kids in the “real world” were facing, and make a little cash on the side. So God opened the door for that passion to be lived out here in Texas to become Ms. Shields.

What I wasn’t prepared for the first day I showed up to substitute was how much I would love the school scene. One day turned into multiple days a week and eventually I found myself trying to be at school as much as possible. Long story short, I realized God was providing me with an open door to reach kids beyond the church walls, to spend time with them each day, loving them with His love. It meant stepping away from the ministry world vocationally. It meant trading out full time Ms. Olivia for full time Ms. Shields. But it was and has been an incredible adventure crafted by my Creator.

It’s been an imperfect journey. Undoubtedly it will continue to be so, but I’m beyond thankful for how God has repeatedly turned my broken mess into something that brings Him glory!

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