…Jesus? When I heard that phrase come from the pulpit at church recently, it stuck out to me. As it should. At face value that phrase sounds a lot like the opposite of something you would hear in church, but as is often the case, it was a way to get me to really tune in and pay attention to what was next.
We were looking at Proverbs 3:5 which states, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” There’s that word “lean” again, in a context that makes a bit more sense. After all, I’ve been in church for a long time. I know that leaning into my own understanding is not the BEST idea. So why not Jesus?
The word lean used here is translated in Hebrew to mean to support oneself. In a way, it almost comes across as something that I choose to do, on my terms. It’s not really a term of surrender. As our preacher mentioned, it is similar to the idea of a crutch, though the words for lean and crutch are not the same in the Hebrew. They do look a little similar, though.
Crutches. I’ve spent more than enough time in my life on crutches. Thinking about that, we really only use crutches when we need them. I did use them once as part of a costume and 100% regretted it, but that’s a story for another time. Most of the time, crutches are a solution to mobility forced upon a person by some other outside circumstance, and in a lot of cases, the goal is to eventually not need them anymore. Crutches really aren’t fun. It doesn’t take long for them to feel like they are hurting more than helping. And while they do make it possible to move, they’re still a substitute for true mobility.
So if we consider “leaning on Jesus” through the lens of this support, or a crutch, I can see how it starts to diminish what Jesus truly offers. And the reality is, there are a lot of times where I’ve done just that. I’ve leaned, because I had to. I’ve leaned, because I had no other option. I’ve leaned, but when things got better, I put away the support. In a way, when we “lean on Jesus” like this, it’s almost like we’re using Him as the substitute for some better solution that we haven’t found yet, instead of recognizing Him as the solution Himself.
That’s not what Jesus wants to be. He has better, so much better for each of us.
Our sermon didn’t end there. In fact, the entire phrase (or at least in summary) from the sermon was this: “We don’t lean into Jesus, we dive into Him.”
The idea is that we run to Jesus, like a kid jumping unreservedly into water, into the safety of their father’s arms. That instantly took me back to my childhood. You see, I wasn’t scared of much as a kid. Fire, yes. Thunderstorms, yes. Both of those I’ve managed to overcome in adulthood. But there’s one I have not, and that is the idea of jumping into a free fall. In fact, I don’t unreservedly jump from anything. I hate it. I was literally the kid that if you had asked me, “If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you”, my answer would have been an adamant NO because I would likely be paralyzed in fear on the edge.
But there was this one time as a kid that I thought back to. I was with a family friend who I trusted dearly, and some of her friends. We decided to go to a SMALL bridge nearby and jump off of it. I still remember standing there. I had my life jacket. My knees were bent. Others with us jumped safely time and time again. But I couldn’t make myself do it. I knew it would be safe. I knew the water would be refreshing. I knew it would be fun. But my legs stood firm, leaning on the guardrail.
And then I think about how often that’s the picture of me diving into Jesus. I know it’s safe. I know it’s for my good. I know it’ll be far better than anything I could ever do on my own. I see others diving into Him and seeing the result. Yet, I settle for leaning on the guardrails of my own understanding.
Well, as the situation warranted, I did end up in the water that day. But it came as the result of a push. One of the other responsible friends recognized that I was poised to jump. She waited for a moment when I was leaning a little less on those guardrails and gave me just enough of a push to get me to fall forward and into the water below. I still hated those split seconds of free fall, but when my head came above the surface of the water, everything had changed. Fear had been replaced by joy, and I spent the next bit of time, climbing back up to jump over and over again.
Diving into Jesus. It can be terrifying, and that’s ok to admit. You can know that He’ll be there, but it doesn’t always feel like the safest choice in the moment. Like the feeling of a free fall, it might be a fear of what that process of truly letting go will feel like. Our own understanding can be a guardrail to a far better experience. But sometimes, when we really do just need a boost, Jesus provides us with the right people who literally push us toward Him, in hope that when we finally experience Him, it becomes easier and perhaps even a joy to make the jump.
That story from my childhood is similar to one of my experiences this summer, that I’ll share as I close. Because again, I can tell you that I’ve sat on the edge of a blob tower for WAY too long because I didn’t want to feel the free fall onto the big giant pillow-like inflatable below. I’ve stood on a platform 20 feet in the air, but 3 feet away from another platform, strapped into a harness, terrified to make the jump, just in case. Y’all I still HATE. THAT. FEELING.
So this summer I got to go to a waterpark with my nephew. We arrived and the very first slide he wants to go on is one where you step inside the slide standing up, the glass door closes around you. You cross your arms and your ankles, and hope not to die. A heart beat starts playing, then a countdown, and suddenly the floor opens from under you, and you journey down the slide. And I KNEW I would hate it. But being the brave and loving aunt that I am, I agreed to go. And being the brave and loving aunt that I am, I went first. And I didn’t die. Admittedly, it was fun and I was thankful that I tried it, but unlike jumping off the bridge as a child, I did not choose to do that more than once. But my nephew did it after me, and he went again. And that picture is just a reminder that sometimes, God will use the moments we dive into Him to inspire others to do the same.
So how is God asking you to dive in? I know for me, right now, it’s embracing the differences that will come with a new school year. I know it’s stepping back into serving. It’s being intentional in building and deepening relationships. I know it’s a lot of little steps of obedience. It’s being comfortable with who God has made me to be. Most of those things might not seem so bad, but if I’m honest, a lot of times, I still want to cling to guardrails. I’m still learning what it means to trust in the Lord with ALL my heart. I’m still learning to dive into Him. I’m still learning to choose faith over my fears.
Friends, whatever you may be facing, don’t settle for leaning into Jesus. Wherever He is calling you to jump, make the choice to dive into Him and experience the best of what Jesus has to offer you. It’s worth it, and you surely won’t be the same.
*Author Note*
My hope is that in reading this you don’t walk away thinking it is wrong to “lean on Jesus”. Because sometimes leaning or resting on Jesus is all we can muster the strength to do. I’ve been there SO many times, and in those circumstances, He still promises to be there, a rock, which will hold us up. But something I’ve been becoming more aware of is that God enjoys inviting us, and behind those invitations is always something more than what we have right now. So please hear my heart. Leaning on Jesus is still better than leaning on our own understanding, but there’s more. This was an invitation to take the step, to not settle for leaning, to dive and see what else God has in store.
The Unwithered Leaf 