If you didn’t read my post from last December, I ended it with this phrase:
So what’s next? Deeper with Jesus.
What you should know is that everything that follows in this post was written before I went back and read what I wrote last year. Not gonna lie – I’m somewhere between a “Haha, that’s funny God” and complete awe.
I wrote this, mostly as a reflective piece, but also, it is that time of the year where I have always enjoyed reading letters from people about their year. Social media has kinda removed the need for some of those end of year updates, but call me old fashioned. I still like to read them. To be honest, I had zero intentions of writing anything at all, until one night recently I was walking to get my mail. I really thought, “What would I even say? Nothing has really happened this year.”
And then God hit me upside the head with a holy 2×4 of reminders.
At first, I tried to think of how I could sum up this whole year with one word, but I couldn’t.
2022 really wasn’t a train-wreck for me, though it had its fair share of difficult moments. It had some significant highlights, but I wouldn’t come so close to calling it one of the best years of my life. But if I could say anything about this year, it’s that I’ve continued to discover more of who I am and who I was created to be.
It’s a little crazy to think back to January. In some ways it feels like that was a few years ago, yet it just happened yesterday right? It was a whirlwind of a month traveling to an incredible children’s conference in Orlando, which laid such a great foundation to help me really focus in on running children’s ministry more efficiently with a heart set on Jesus. I’m so thankful for that time! On the heels of that our church hosted a Life Action team, which was both nostalgic and beneficial for my soul to just be saturated by the Word. I still volunteer with the ministry as a content writer, so it was also a joy to have friends and ministry family here for a couple weeks.
The rest of the spring seems a blur, but that’s probably because I was in the process of completing my bachelor’s degree from Liberty University! Clicking submit never felt so good as it did on May 2nd, and I’m thankful for how God sustained me over the last few years of completing this milestone. I graduated Cumma Sum Laude with my Bachelor of Science in Interdisciplinary Studies with focuses in Religion and Behavioral Studies. That’s a mouthful, I know, but basically, I transferred my Bible school credits, took some Gen Ed classes, and learned about child and adolescent development. I’m thankful to say that I’m definitely using this degree!
2022 also meant turning 30! I loved getting to host my parents for a week right around then and introducing them to many Texas things. More people should really come see Texas, and by that, I mean see ME in Texas. Right after my parents left, I took a quick trip up north to celebrate my graduation and birthday with some of my closest friends. I jumped in Lake Michigan fully clothed and still don’t regret it one bit. But I was so thankful for all that time with family and friends.
As I turned 30, I honestly was excited to leave my 20s. I felt a little more stable and confident about who I am. And that lasted about a whole month before I realized that life is a constant journey of figuring out a bunch of things. However, I am still thankful to be on this side of 30 even if adulting only gets more interesting and expensive.
One of the things I learned the most this year is that I need to make time to do things for me. I love my job, don’t get me wrong, and there’s always something I could be working on for it, but I realized that I needed to find things to do that were beyond my job. So one of my favorite additions to 2022 was joining a co-ed softball league. During our first game it was 115 degrees with zero shade, and while I was slightly concerned about being in that kind of weather, I loved it! I also still have a scar from that first game before I realized that I don’t have to slide like I used to over ½ my life ago. Softball is something I grew up enjoying, so I loved being able to play all summer and fall, and I look forward to picking it up again in the spring! It’s been awesome to be in the community and to rub shoulders with people I never would have met otherwise!
Another great thing I’ve started in 2022 is attending a local young adult Bible Study Fellowship group. Perhaps more than studying Scripture, I’ve been challenged by these men and women who live out their faith in job environments that have nothing to do with church/ministry. I realized for the last decade of my life, I’ve mostly been surrounded by people of ministry, so it has been really encouraging to see and hang out with so many young adults who love Jesus and are on mission where God has them!
And speaking of that, God has opened up a door for me in that arena as well. This fall I officially became a substitute teacher in our local school district…a district that as of the Fall of 2023 will have 46 elementary schools! For years I wanted to sub as an opportunity to be in the community, support teachers, see what kids today are really doing, and to make a little extra cash. I saw subbing as a way to really enhance my role as a children’s minister, but what I was fully unprepared for was just how much I would LOVE being at school. God’s provided new friends and allowed me to connect with so many kids. I’ve learned that whether I’m at church on Sunday or at school during the week, when I’m pouring into kids, I’m quite a bit more alive. So, ending the year with a 2 week break from school and not having children’s ministry is actually a little torturous for my soul. But I’m embracing the rest!
Now, usually when you get one of these year end letters, they do focus primarily on just the good, but like I said, 2022 was also a little tough. While I don’t want to dwell on those things too much, I do think some of them are worth mentioning.
2022 was the year I embraced going to counseling because I felt stuck mentally about halfway through the year and didn’t really know what to do. I knew I needed someone beyond even all the positive relationships God has given me, and I’m honestly thankful for the friends who encouraged me to pursue formal counseling. I discovered some really good truths during those sessions, most of which was learning that I need to create space, find things I enjoy, and being honest and real with myself and with others. It was some hard conversations. It was prayer. It was necessary, and I’m thankful for that season of helping me get unstuck.
This picture above represents the lesson I learned this year about my life. It’s the product of brokenness – from personal choices as well as the uncontrollable realities of living in a broken world. My story though is one about JESUS putting those pieces back together and allowing the scars to tell a beautiful narrative for His glory. And oh what a day it will be when to be in His presence will mean complete wholeness!
2022 was also the year where I discovered it’s hard to live far away from my family. I was thankful to take a trip home this summer to be with them for a week and to see my Aunt Martha before she passed, but that time, especially in the summer, was all too short. This has been a year where I’m learning to cherish my family that much more. As much as I enjoy Texas and feel pretty confident that I’m supposed to be here for a while, I really do miss my family. If Texas has one major fault, it’s that it’s a 24-hour drive without stops away from the majority of my immediate family. There’s a lot of moments I’ve missed, but I’m always thankful for the phone calls to catch up, the text messages, and the video chats. I’m excited to hopefully make a visit or two in 2023!
So 2022 – turning 30, the ups, the downs – has been for the most part a year of deepening. That’s the word I was looking for. Deepening knowledge. Deepening understanding. Deepening passions. Deepening relationships. Deepening purpose. Deepening pursuit of God. Deepening love for family.
I don’t know what 2023 will hold. I suspect more of the same – some good, some bad, tucked in among a lot of ordinary days. There are things I’m uncertain of. There are concerns on my heart. There are dreams I would love to see come true. But I certainly do not fear what’s ahead. Why? Because I’ve seen God sustain me. I’ve seen Him hold me up. I’ve seen Him direct my step. I’ve seen Him bring people alongside to encourage. And I know that as long as I’m still alive and breathing on this earth, I’m here to be an impact for His Kingdom. What more could I ask for? That’s a lesson I’ve been especially challenged with at the end of this year.
When our years are full of mountain tops and valleys, He remains constant. He remains peace. He remains hope.
May that alone be what encourages and carries you through these remaining days of 2022 and into the fresh start of a new year.
The Unwithered Leaf 