One Year Later…So What’s Next?

“There’s a part of me that wants to actually start talking to Jesus about a potential what’s next and if I’m supposed to stay here long term. But that also terrifies me. Ik He knows it’s on my brain and has been, but idk if I’m at a point where I’m like fully ready to start that convo.”

If you’re sitting there moderately panicking or wondering if I’ve totally lost it, no worries! That was a text message I sent to a friend on December 1st, 2020.

One year later, I’m sitting in Katy, TX serving in a position that I would honestly classify as my dream job.

Don’t get me wrong. I loved my last job. I loved the people I met, worked with, and worshiped with as a result of living in Michigan. The crazy thing that most people don’t know is that not all that long before I sent that text to my friend, I ended a short stint in the online dating world because the thought of potentially moving even as far as an hour away and uprooting my life terrified me. I was finally feeling rooted, known, involved and comfortable….in a good way!

So, when I woke up on December 2nd, 2020 and that fear of moving even an hour away was nowhere to be found, and I was suddenly ok with potentially moving several hours away, I knew deep in my soul that God was up to something. I just never imagined it would be what it has come to be.

Texas.

Fact: I’ve never wanted to live in Texas. Move south, yes. Be in warmth more than the cold, yes. Be able to use the word y’all freely and eat delicious food, yes. But I never actively looked for a job in Texas. Nothing against the state, but aside from a couple of friends, I didn’t have a tremendous draw toward the state. Except there was this one town…

Katy, Texas.

I saw God move here in 2016. My view of children’s ministry was changed and deepened here. I experienced revival fire, and can still smell the smoke from those days.

And now every work day, I walk through the room where we led children in worship and taught them about Jesus. I grab photocopies in the room where a significant work of forgiveness came to fruition in my life. I see the table where I sat at with a friend as we walked through Scripture after Scripture to help us renew our mouths. I get to serve in a place where seeking God for revival and spiritual renewal continues to be the norm.

In some ways, I still can’t believe that I’m actually here, and at the same time, it feels like I’ve been here for much longer than the 4 months it’s actually been. I can also say, that I really enjoy living in Texas, and I’m loving the process of becoming Texan!

So why this post?

I like to reflect, and I like to write to help me process. It continues to amaze me that in the span of one year, God planted a seed in my heart, confirmed it in prayer and counsel, allowed for some waiting time, and then when I least expected it, allowed it to bloom. And boy did it bloom beyond what I could imagine.

At the same time, I find myself one year later, still struggling with leaning into Jesus to find out what’s next. Don’t worry, I’m not talking about another move, but I’m learning that life is a bunch of “what’s next” moments. This time, it’s been a different prompting in my heart about going deeper with Jesus.

Deeper with Jesus. What does that even mean? It could mean more time with Him. It could mean making a commitment. It could mean dealing with sin. It could mean discovering a new depth of His love. It could mean a whole host of things.

Sidenote…You see, I may have transplanted to Texas, but my spiritual roots are still deeply grounded to the messaging that radically changed my life in 2008 and the messaging I taught for several years. Now, in a little over a month, that messaging will be in front of me again as our church hosts Life Action for another summit. Recently I found a copy of the testimonies from our conference in 2016. I realized I had never fully listened to them. As I did, it was as if Jesus was saying, “So, ready for what’s next?”

After 8 years of being with that ministry, how would I prepare? Would I simply assume that I know what’s gonna go down? Will I only hope for God to use it to help transform specific things I know are happening in our church? Will I try to deal with all the stuff that I think I’m supposed to deal with so that I can come across as “good to go” when they roll in? Or will I honestly open my heart and allow God to keep working?

I was reminded of a season on the road (the same season that found me in Katy, TX the first time) where every week as we entered a new church, I asked Jesus to keep teaching me, keep taking me deeper, keep changing me. Don’t allow me to become numb to these truths. I realized how necessary that prayer is even now.

Leaning into Jesus is not always easy because the “what’s next” can often feel unknown. But Jesus is so specific. It may be a giant move. It may be making sacrifices in the day to day. Whatever it may be, He is worthy of our obedience.

Honestly, moving to Texas was something I did with joy. Despite the hard emotions that also came with that, it was easy to say to God in that area. Deleting apps from my phone that were causing me to waste tons of time was not as easy and was done with far less joy. Interesting how things can be like that sometimes. However, if there’s one thing I’ve continued to learn over the last year, it’s that leaning into Jesus is worth it! One year later, I know I’m only starting to see the fruit of asking a BIG “What’s next” in my life. Based on what I’ve seen, I can trust that for all the little “what’s next” moments to come, that the fruit will continue to be that which will bring Jesus the most glory.

So what’s next? Deeper with Jesus.

What a joy it is to know I can lean deeply into Jesus and know that He will never let me down!