O LORD, how many are my foes! Many are rising against me; many are saying of my soul, there is no salvation for him in God.
Psalm 3:1-2
David was running away from his own son. Why? Because his son had “stolen the hearts of the men of Israel.” (2 Sam. 15:6) Not just simple men, but even one of David’s most trusted advisors and companions – Ahithophel – followed suit. David’s foes were indeed many, and Absalom’s goal was to defeat David and take over as king.
We may not have a physical army pursuing us or trying to remove us from a place of prominence. But as a follower of Jesus, I know I have my own set of foes, and at times, it feels as if I’m about to meet my defeat. Can you relate?
For those who know my story (if you haven’t, you can read part of it here), they know that life hasn’t always been easy for me. In fact some days, it seems like the longer I’m a Christian the harder it gets. On those days, I’m so thankful for the future hope of no more struggles! You see, I’ve battled depression – off and on – for almost 15 years. At times it’s been more severe than others. At times it was deep joylessness, apathy in tasks I once loved, and yes, at times I wanted to give up. But I didn’t.
As I read Psalm 3 recently, I found myself remembering seasons when depression felt like a hoard of foes. That’s right, not just a one-on-one foe, but a giant massive hoard. Most of the time depression has snuck into my soul as many thoughts, surrounding me, and relentlessly taunting me, trying to cloud out any hope of salvation in God.
In a moment of complete transparency, 2019 was met with a lot of these moments, and as I’ve entered 2020, I’ve felt a renewed urgency and desperation to not be plagued by these moments all the time. It’s not an easy fight and frankly, there are moments where I’m just tired of fighting, but that’s what I love about the message of Psalm 3.
But You, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. I cried aloud to the LORD, and He answered me from His holy hill.
Psalm 3:3-4
To get the context of this passage, check out 2 Samuel 15-17. In the midst of a really dire situation, David recognizes that God is his only hope for salvation. Sure David has people who come alongside him during this time, but God was the only one who could change or direct the circumstances in David’s favor. David acknowledges that in this Psalm.
I would say it’s been over the last year that I experienced a deeper understanding of God’s love walking through some dark times. Why? Because for most of this year, I was in a new place, building new relationships that weren’t quite ready for the “So, at times I struggle with depression” bombshell. My closer friends? They had stuff going on and couldn’t always be there. Also, I was a new full time ministry worker, and so pride kept me (for a time) from being honest with people. Over time, more people became aware of when I was struggling, as God gave me courage and grace to share, but even still, I learned that God was going to be the One that I could dump it all out on and never fail me or let me down in return. He was ultimately the only One who could defeat those thoughts.
The day I read this Psalm, God provided me with extra time to sit and be with Him. I had the privilege of being challenged to just tell God what’s going on, and I knew I needed to list out my foes before Him so He could help me work through them and be the lifter of my head. Perhaps you’ll relate to some of them.
- You’re not good enough for them.
- You’re not worthy or worth it.
- You’re a burden.
- Your hurts don’t compare. They’re petty.
- Why keep trying when you’ll just mess up again?
- You’re too fragile to make a difference, get better first.
- You’re only loved for how you give. If you stop, you won’t be loved at all.
- You deserve to feel like this.
- You deserve to be alone.
- Do more!
- Your emotional pain is too much for you to bear, but no one wants to help.
- If God loved you, you wouldn’t have lost that.
You see, my foes aren’t always just an assault on me, but they often will assault the very nature of God and the truth that He has proclaimed. So as I sat there that morning with a notebook open, God started fighting for me. He didn’t take me to my phone to look up an article to help. Instead, He started reminding me of Scriptures that directly negated my foes and reminded me of who He is.
- You’re not good enough for…
- Zephaniah 3:17 – God rejoices over me, quiets me with His love, and exults over me with singing.
- You’re not worthy or worth it.
- John 3:16 – He sent His only Son as a sacrifice for me so I could have eternity with Him.
- You’re a burden.
- 2 Samuel 22:20 – He rescued me, not out of obligation but because He delights in me.
- Your hurts don’t compare. They’re petty.
- 1 Peter 5:7 – He invites me to cast every care (big or small) because He cares for them.
- Why keep trying when you’ll just mess up again?
- Proverbs 24:16 – One who rises again is considered righteous.
- You’re too fragile to make a difference, get better first.
- Matthew 9:12-13 – He came for the sick and needy.
- Matthew 11:28-30 – To those who are burdened, He invites them into His rest.
- You’re only loved for how you give. If you stop, you won’t be loved at all.
- Romans 8:38-39 – Nothing can ever separate me from God’s love.
- You deserve to feel like this.
- Romans 8:1 – There’s no condemnation for those who have a relationship with Christ.
- John 16:33 – The world comes with hardships because of sin nature, but God has overcome them all. There’s hope!
- You deserve to be alone.
- Matthew 28:20b – God is with me always.
- Hebrews 13:5b – He will never leave me or forsake me.
- Do more!
- Luke 10:41-42 – Activity is not a measure of success in God’s economy. Being with Him comes with far greater reward.
- Your emotional pain is too much for you to bear, but no one wants to help.
- Psalm 94:19 – When my heart is heavy, He cheers my soul.
- Psalm 118:7 – The Lord is on my side as a helper.
- Psalm 147:3 – He heals the brokenhearted.
- If God loved you, you wouldn’t have lost that.
- Job 1:21 – God gives and takes away.
- James 1:16-17 – He is the Giver of perfect gifts.
It was on that day, God started answering me from His holy hill. His tender voice whispered promises as a balm to my battle ravaged mind.
I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the LORD sustained me.
Psalm 3:5
What followed for David was rest. True rest. No longer was he plagued by fear of his encroaching enemy. He went to sleep, and in the morning he arose and rejoiced for the Lord had sustained him.
As I stepped away from that extended time with God, I was certainly renewed as if I had taken a nap. Additionally, I was reminded that my presence on earth meant that I could also proclaim: He has sustained me! He’s sustained me through my darkness. He has sustained me through light. And He promises to do so, until the time He decides it’s time for me to go home.
And one day we’ll be free, free indeed, Jesus
One day all this struggle will cease
And we will see Your glory revealed
On that day
Matt Redman – One Day (When We All Get To Heaven)
If you struggle with depression, don’t stay quiet about it. Tell someone you can trust and who will help you get help if they can’t. If you don’t have a relationship with God, know that having one may not take away your depression; however, it gives you the hope you need to overcome the seasons as they come! I can’t say that I would be the BEST person to help you navigate depression, but I would be happy to share Jesus with you whether you have a relationship with Him or not!
The ring featured on the top of this page is what I purchased as a daily reminder that God is greater than my highs and lows. The ring is a reminder that His presence is constant. The design on the ring has been used to raise awareness of the rising rate of suicide in our country and to share the message of hope that is found in God. You can purchase one at http://www.elevatedfaith.com.
The Unwithered Leaf 